Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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