either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
How drunk are you?
Completed.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
