if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
