You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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