Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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