So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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