I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
