i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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