found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
