Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
