i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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