I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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