I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
