Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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