yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Randomize
