Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
