he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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