Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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