told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
