i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
My penis needs a shock collar
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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