You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
