I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
home. puking in laundry basket.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
