he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
