I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
