Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
