i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
