and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
