So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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