i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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