I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
