My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
