i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
