You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
