Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
