i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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