If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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