careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
