they need to just BURY HIM!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I need to align my fucking chakras
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
