We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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