Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
