i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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