Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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