The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
