Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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