In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
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