I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
That was before I lit my hair on fire
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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