I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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