So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
