doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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