at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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