i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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