I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
