brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
