i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
