so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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