This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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