you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
