you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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