Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
