I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dignity is for republicans.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
