I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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