I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
