Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
