what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize